For those of you that I am friends with on Facebook. NOT A WORD OF THIS!!
I got to see my newest work in progress’s heartbeat yesterday!! I done made another future wood peddler! We have only broken the news to my parents a few other necessaries as we’re only 8 weeks in. The rule of thumb is to wait until 12 weeks to go public, so of course that’s when all the public fanfare will begin. But Its so hard to keep this kind of secret when you’re mad excited! Excited yet terrified.
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Fair warning the next bit is a little sad, and a little hard for me to talk about.
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So back in the beginning of the summer of 2014 we miscarried. We knew something was wrong when we went to the first ultrasound of that pregnancy and the ultrasound Tech was like so, it looks like you’re about 5 weeks along, when we were 8. Later that week she started “spotting” (if you don’t know what that is, its not a good thing to be doing when you’re pregnant, google it if your’re into that sort of thing.) The spotting turned into a torrent in the middle of the night and that was all she wrote. It was a toss up as to who took it harder. We had been trying for quite a while. So you have the initial excitement followed by straight up devastation. I turned into a jerk. I took it out on everyone, my wife even a couple times. Which wasn’t fair to her at all. I know this, but emotions can be a real asshole. I got depressed for a bit. Fell off the good eats and Gym wagon. Put on a bunch of weight I had really not handled it well. I didn’t start coming out of that funk until maybe around November. We had started right away after the miscarriage. Her doc said go for it. So I lit into it with gusto. 😉
Fast forward to present day upstate New York. So I don’t know if this is a confession or what but I just need to get it off my chest. I am absofuckinglutely terrified when mamma bear gets up from bed to go to the bathroom during the night. I mean it scares me to the core of my being. Until she comes back and settles in without a noise I hold my breath and just wait. Thankfully she sleeps through the night just about as good as our three year old. So not too many cold sweats the last few weeks, but enough.
So that’s about the size of it. My crazy baby is going to be a big sister and I’m going to have to remember how to make baby burritos. (Baby burritos are when you wrap up a newborn to keep it warm and cozy and from flopping all about.
So yeah equal parts happy and terrified. And don’t none of y’all go spilling the beans!
bigwoodpeddler 